Don't know whats worst me sharding on her a bit or her believing me when i told her she did it...
so looking at the guys i've dated i feel my vag is a halfway house
Just burped. Tasted like beer and cherios...Beerios. This is gonna be quite a day.
Not only did I hold your hair back as you puked, i french braided it. I am such a great friend.
Do you not remember you showing everyone in the bathroom your period stained underwear? I'd say you were pretty happy it came
Bob the builder, bob the uilder bob the builder bbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbjbbbbbiotch!pp!!!!
Drunk cheerio confetti may seem like a brilliant idea when your drunk, but believe me, the next day, its a horrible, horrible mess.
I just found that video of you jumping onto my exercise ball feet-first and face-planting into my shoe rack.
He was uncircumcised
It was like inception. A penis within a penis within a penis
I took my exam the next day still drunk and failed, but I kno for a fact that I filled in the bubbles for my name perfectly
I think it's safe to say I'm rolling my hypothetical balls off
Just had a talk about safe sex with my mom. Not about protection. About the very real possibility of a "penile fracture". Gotta love having a nurse for a mother.
So I was trying to finish off that sick uv whipped and I chased it with yogurt. Not a good idea
If you get laid dressed as my dad that makes me extremely uncomfortable
Drunk you needs to learn how to call sober me, so sober me can talk your drunk vagina down.
Randomize
