dude, i think i am in a porno. I was working out at the hotel gym and some chick was doing yoga and a guy comes up and says "good, now i know your flexible" then they started making out. WTF?
'in an unhealthy relationship' should def be an fb option
this study room smells like vodka
the study room thinks the same about you
im so poor im using the bottom of my laptop to heat my food.
If she's telling you consent laws theres probably a reason
I know it sounds like a good idea, but doing Spanish homework at a bar just because the owners are Mexican and they give us margaritas really wasn't the best decision.
I just dont understand why you didnt cut me off when I took the funnel into the bathroom and started peeing and funneling at the same time
Oh god he's like Julia Roberts in pretty woman... And I'm the one who's gotta make a lady out of him.
Life isn't about who you kiss, drunk, at midnight. It's who you text nonsense to, sober, from the toilet.
I AM VODKA MAN
Look, I'm just saying, she looks like a troll and works indefinitely at a shitty Chinese restaurant, so me sleeping with her boyfriend is the least of her troubles...
She makes margaritas with lemon-lime 5 hour energy..thats brilliant
and you were wondering how she got into Harvard
You're an independent woman who is defined by her own actions and not by whether or not you have a man. You also have great tits.
Are you missing a tooth after last night? Because I found one in my coat pocket...along with what smells like dried jäger and a package of deer jerky.
Uh not that I recall.
Oh wait nvm. It's mine. Yeup, definitely my tooth.
It's only considered alcoholism if you're drinking from something other than a cup....right?
Randomize
