a dead guy is trying to sell me oxy clean on my tv
you should be back in the room by now but just so you know. you passed out at the black jack table and they wheel chaired you out. strip club in about 45 minutes. game face bro.
Although I wish I was out drinking, this cough syrup has me slightly more optimistic than usual.. I heavily debating trying to find mystical creatures and selling them to rich people as pets
I don't know if I have the sustained energy level for partying hard
Not a choice. You are mistaking my comments as options. My statements are facts. This is what is happening.
You don't have anything to lose--we've established that he's not going to murder you and he smells good.
Why do I have a missed call from "The Anaconda" ?
I have a kicked-out-of-multiple-bars level hangover today
I vote for a trading skills night. You teach me to juggle, I'll teach you knife fighting, and we'll both learn banjo
if there is one thing you splurge on it better be nice condoms
You were so drunk you coat checked your shoe... Not even both of them. Just one shoe.
who was i chillin with last night? i woke up in a storage unit
I know. It was just so disappointing. I almost made it. And now the "when's the last time you peed your pants" clock has restarted. Lol
I just left and he walked me out and went call me if you're ever... Eh... Whatever. And walked away.
I can guarantee he will smoke me out and I won't feel bad about it because he gets to touch my butt.
I remember her making the first martini but the rest of the weekend is a blur of vodka, high heels and sex toys.
First time being used by a cougar. Definitely okay with it
Randomize