smell like capt'n and strawberry champagne
I have said "that's the wrong hole" for the last time.
I just accidently deleted 60 gigs of porn from my external hard drive. Thats over 300 pornos! I think im gonna cry.
Im surprised that you are even able to text me right now.
now i know why i became what i already was.
He is so amazingly handsome. I just wanna fuck every shred of decency out of him.
I'm fighting fire with fire. When my parents interrogate me about what I was doing last night, I tell them the truth. Every disgusting, awkward detail. I'm 23 now and they need to get used to it.
You said "sustain yourself" quietly over and over as you fed joeys hamster cashews. Acid you is a trip
Please brint me miilk. I am on the floor but my door is open. Thank you, i appreciate u verry much.
I just looked at your pics on Facebook....there was cake? Where the fuck was I!?
Now he's crying and asking for 'the cameras' to come out. The one cop is laughing
But don't thank me for faking being asleep, if I was the real wing man, I would have left the bed
I have a txt file I don't remember making open on my desktop. All it says is "what it's like to be a bat"
Hey, if a dude can't randomly belt out Whitney Houston tunes from time to time, is life really worth living??
Drunk me left sober me a shower beer in expectation of Hurricane Harvey. Drunk me is the best.
Who the fuck puts glitter on their vagina? It’s all over my face and crotch.
Randomize