my vagina has a 5:00 shadow
She fucked me because she said I looked like Neil Patrick Harris
Chipotle...archenemy of the gay man. Cockblocking me since 1997
I refuse to have another spring break doomed by pregnancy.
he had a dikembe mutombo jersey on, was swatting peoples drinks out of their hand and wagging his finger in their face everytime he did it.
A kind stripper put a blanket over me last night
He took the bartender's challenge and took a Jello shot with a tarantula frozen inside.
Just traded a shot of whiskey for a warm PBR on public transit. It's that's sort of night already.
I'm curious as to what my outfit choices drunk me made for this weekend.
Also this guy in my contact as hairy jerry sent me a pic of him shirtless and said I miss you and I have no idea who he is /when or if I met him but that's not normal?!
Ims textiofg thsi woht my noes bcuz my hansd aer stli handcuffde to teh bedfrme. Help me
If I send you a picture of a dick will you give me your honest reaction?
I don't think I've ever had this many people offer me blow before. 3 o'clock on a Thursday. I keep good company.
So what's it like to be pregnant?
It feels like I'm hungover and when I was drunk I was kicked off a mechanical bull and then trampled.
He wanted to take me to breakfast in the morning. He told me he respects me after I said no. I told him to respect me at a distance.
Randomize
