Her vagina should come with caution tape.
the EMT asked how you broke your nose and you said, "you know, the usual wear and tear."
its coolsest when we hear the beat in our water bottles. and the likghts are in his eyes now. oh holland
What do you think french fries on pizza would taste like?
i already know. Delicious. Use ranch.
wow, you never really realize how many muscles you have in your crotch until you pull them all.
He doesn't care. He wouldn't care if my vag grew arms and smacked him in the face.
My night started to turn around the time I started calling her a "raggedy cunt".
Somehow she got that I meant it as a term of endearment.
I think I fell in love with her when I saw her kick a freshman in the chest
He didn't call me beautiful but he came in less than five minutes so same thing, right?
You don't know weird until you've had a musical wet dream about your older brother.
Shhhh less advice, more soothing words and dirty phrases
Remember that time we were together? Yeah, I don't miss that.
Oh and sorry for almost killing all of us last night... twice...
That awkward moment when you were so fucking drunk lastnight that you and your fuck buddy wake up wearing eachother's clothing covered in hot cheetos with his cat curled up between your heads meowing. Thought you'd appreciate this moment with me.
You're like a care bear with a big cock & a sexual prowess that would put the mighty Thor to shame.
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