i guess. but if i can salvage this and still somehow see you naked i feel like that's a win
as we were stuffing their 24 of beer into our bags you kept saying you wanted cheese strings. closest things we found were kraft singles. as the guys came up the stairs you kept screaming 'GET THE CHEESE! GET THE CHEESE!'
She cheated on me with the same state trooper that wrote me a ticket.
I guess now you have a way to keep your license when you bring that up in court.
Dude, you are the most awesome.
I mean turning down birthday sex is never the answer
no, but he did start crying. who the fuck is 30, covered in tattoos and crys about an ex? get your shit together, man.
Is he gonna be my crazy ex? Cause we weren't even together for as long as my weeklong bicurious lesbian relationship.
So his 25th anniversary post of love to his wife was almost verbatim what he said to me last week. Does that mean I win or lose?
I was watching porn and wanted to change the tab to another video to cum but I clicked the wrong tab and it was a gif of a dog but I was coming and couldn't do anything so did I jill off to a dog? I feel like I should be guilty
are you putting in a lot of effort today like appearance wise
I am taking my rightful place as emperor of the undead appearance wise
Easy. Go to walmart, buy a bag of charcoal. everyone gets a present and it's cheap.
You sent me a naked picture of you as a child? How is that normal
Like either my tits got bigger or I've succumbed to Trumps tiny hand syndrome
Just stay awake and booze cruise it to class. How are you a senior and have never went to class drunk? No excuses, I have a better gpa.
Can I just swipe right on his dad?
She asked me to tell her the three words every girl wants to hear so I whispered "I play hockey" in her ear.
Randomize