Could you imagine if a Skynet machine combination of Bob Ross and Chuck Norris were built? It would rule the universe with a soft spoken fan brush of kung fu dominance
It would be truly incredible. I hope we are blessed with this being in our lifetime.
The look your mother gives you when she sees you masterbating on web cam is unlike any I've seen before, but this is a case where, I would say, ignorance is bliss.
i find it simply astounding you spelled drunken wrong but pterodactyl right
I just smoked a bowl while riding a horse. This has been a productive vacation.
She soaked the fruit in vodka for ten minutes and then mixed it with normal fruit and sherbert icecream. It was called "lottery fruit".
He kept pouting and saying i cockblocked him and I kept yelling "I'm sorry...but the cock was never out to be blocked"
I seriously told a stripper I would hold her hand when she goes to get ass implants.
Dude..this is the third year in a row me and him have fucked at a super bowl party..does that count as a tradition?
I thought turtle was a code word for weed until he pulled out a baby turtle from his pocket and said "$20 for a turtle"
New discovery: pineapple flavored vodka. Life made, liver in jeopardy. Graduation t-minus 50 minutes.
Was I asleep on the ride home?
Yea, then when I tried to hold your head up on a turn, you round house punched me in the face.
How are you feeling?
Hungover as shit. Someone just knocked on my window to make sure I was alive. I have been sleeping in the drivers seat for an hour parked outside my store. That is how okay I am.
I'm covered in glow paint and I can't find my shirt. So, successful night
we talked about the guy being eaten by the anaconda.. Then I proceeded to blow him
It's like if you wanna bond just do a ropes course or have group sex you don't have to be weird about it
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