everytime someone famous vagina shows up in pics, i have to go check my own vagina to make sure mine dont look all wrinkledy and flabby like that....i want my lips plump and succulent
i'm 85% sure that if you don't visit me i will do something awkward and potentially dangerous to you in your sleep involving chocolate milk and a sham-wow.
So I don't think its herpes anymore. Could be a sign of diabetes though. Is it bad that I consider getting diabetes 'dodging a bullet'?
Somewhere between catching the stove on fire and not being aware of it being on fire while I'm in the living room. I drank too much.
Its like a relationship where they cockblock each other.
he payed over $300 just to break into the hotel pool and skinny dip alone for 5 minutes and then peace in a cab. and all he had to say for himself was "gotta go swimming, gotta live life"
where do u find these people!?
I feel like we should actually go to church one of these days to thank god for saving us from herpes and babies.
That's just a really flattering way of saying, "Yes, you're useless, but you have great tits."
By the way, anytime you want to go toe to toe on Doggystyle lyrics just let me know!
Who is this? Did we just become best friends?!
Ew. He is mine. We all know that if he has a mid-life crisis and decides to sleep with a student, I AM THAT STUDENT. She's not friends with him on FB. Reassuring.
Yo this huge scar on my head from the car accident is truly a vag magnet. Probably because I'm telling people I was attacked by a mountain lion and killed it with my bare hands. But hey when life gives you lemons, you use them to get pussy
Are you the reason I woke up without pants?
Black magic does not go near my vagina, it's a rule
I woke up naked with a Jason mask on and a fat lip. What happened last night?
Where can I buy a stripper pole at midnight on a Sunday?
Randomize
