super hot butfun
Oops. What a difference a comma and a space make.
Just saw a white stretch Hummer limo outside of CiCi's pizza. Way to live up to the stereotypes, Alabama.
Your ass just called me, someone was yelling "awful waffle" and also, " I don't know who's hands are who's anymore"
is it consensual if they're cheered on by a room filled with 30 people?
I can't wait. Forget the royal wedding. This is the most anticipated hookup of 2011.
I am making pancakes and watching Spongebob Squarepants. My life is a waste of youth.
Do what? I was just saying that at some point there's a chance I'll have a boner. Think of it like a guessing game. "Does he have one now?"
James this is colleen. This is my new number. You just texted my grandma about getting cockblocked. Congratulations.
Come in your red robin gear. If you smell like French fries we can make love.
Making a mobile stripper pole for the back of my truck memorial weekend. Is where dignity goes to die
It was all good till you had ppl chasin shots of ciroc with fucking applesauce
A guy with a mustache poured a beer down your throat while you had a crippled boy named Sunshine riding your back
Like people might wonder why I put up with your puns. You give good head and play with my hair
I POOPED CONFETTI TOO. Ingested unacceptable amount of it oh my god can I die from this?
I can't come. It's so cold my uterine walls have frozen together like a cherry popsicle.
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