i never knew gatorade would taste just as good on the way back up
I had a dream once that juice was flowing out of my kitchen faucet
dude. FULL moustache. it was like getting head from Tom Selleck
I have to have sex with him again. I feel like I need to train him so no other girl experiences that bad of sex.
We pulled over so he could pee and the next thing I know he's running down the hill by himself with his pants down
Where are you and why am I suddenly responsible for your taquitos?
Just found a bottle of tequila in the washer.
Walk of shame. Stopped at an estate sale on the way back to the house. Old lady pulled a condom wrapper of the back of my hoodie. beat that
Ok spinning in the opposite direction thatg the room was spinning was the worst advice ever
I gotta say, I do way better with the ladies than I do the men. So if it turns out being gay is a choice, then I'm going to go ahead and choose it.
If he thinks that that is an acceptable way to ask me out he is out his goddamn ginger mindddddd.
I. recorded a message of me yelling at myself to "get up out of that bed" and set it an alarm. REALLY loud
You don't know weird until you've had a musical wet dream about your older brother.
We figured you were on something when you said that your nipples couldn't hear the music.
I'll call you on my way home
Oh my god I'm going to die between now and then... can you at least tell me if y'all hooked up???
Randomize
