ready 4 sex 2nite?
wow. woo me matt, woo me.
Half Baked? Au contraire, Ben and Jerry, I was fully baked when I ate that whole pint of ice cream.
He was a level 5 clinger dude i dont need to be told how ridiculously awesome i am all the time, if so id just hang out with my mom
I woke up laying in alphagetti with the message "I'd go get checked asap" written out in the letters.
i recognized the place by the puke stain i left on the pool table when i hooked up with his roommate.
hes totally cute, too bad i slept with his father
I woke up in the penthouse and did lines off the to of the fireplace. This is not real.
Woke up chewing my pillow from a dream where I was scarfing Cajun pasta from TGI Friday's. That's a new level of fat, even for us
The last thing I want is a chocolate mold of my cock competing with my real cock for time spent in your mouth
On the verge of sleeping with a man who can take me to an early bird dinner and a movie with his AARP discount. YOLO
Tequila pump. I'm ecstatic your engineering degree has real world application.
We smoked a bowl in front of the abortion clinic shouting Obama at the protestors.
He said we would have a beautiful daughter together. That way too much for a one night stand...
Also, I've finally come to the point in the relationship when having sex with socks on is ok.
And two different second-graders said my make up was pretty. It's left over from last night bc I woke up 5 min before I was supposed to leave.
Randomize
