Nice. Sry i missed. Also sorry that i pissed on my toothbrush last nite
Sink seemed easy target but balance was no good
you better believe me or I'll punch you in the face
I just almost got out my car and drop kicked this one chick over parking. Welcome to the first day of spring semester.
I'm like a wolly mammoth down there. what do I tell him?
Whoever decided putting Tom Seizmore and Heidi Fleiss together in rehab should win some kind of award.
You blacked out and walked in on my neighbor breast feeding at 3am yelling "where is my best friend". I think we should go apologize.
I'm not proud of how I threatened that 8 year old during drunken laser tag
What if our hands were octopus tentacles?
You're an idiot.
We dropped so many bottles they would only give us plastic cups. We actually drank ourselves back to preschool.
I'd return your shirt, but it got all wet from lying on the bathroom floor while I was in the shower with Justin's roommate...
Keep it.
I just want a whole pitcher of margarita and a headdress from party city and sit around and look like a fucking indian princess.
I smoked all his weed and he hasn't noticed yet. But I might need a place to crash when he does
I just got a text from a guy. The python is ours if we want.
I'm very disappointed that your kitten almost ate my weed cake...
What did you give up for lent?
Diet and excersize. And I'm never going back...
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