I met the nicest Tranny last night. He/She loves Cheetos.
It's more exciting when they aren't single....and even better when you have to pretend that you just slept with their roommate while trying to do the walk a shame as their girlfriend comes marching into the apt.
Im not the least bit jealous of the life you lead.
The reason halloween exists is because it's not cheating if you're wearing a costume.
You screamed at all of us and then showed us your sack. You're like the boyfriend of my dreams.
We lost track of him for only 10 min and he gets kicked out for sneaking into the kitchen and trying to operate the deep fryer.
i just like, need to vent to someone
Can we skip the part where I pretend to care and fast forward to the appreciative blowjob from you?
We found her on a strangers doorstep chanting "I know someone will let me in" it took 2 of us to drag her to the car.
Life seems so much brighter and more vibrant after you have sex with a 20 year old. It's like how Kansas was in black and white and Oz was in technicolor.
No matter how drunk I am or how drunk I'll ever be I love you
Yes, he does have a boomerang dick. No matter how many times I throw it away, it keeps coming right back and winds up hitting me in the head.
You told me that you were as fast as lightning and you wanted to race me. Then you faceplanted after falling down the stairs.
I have a 30 minute video visit blind date tonight with a guy in prison. And it's costing me $9. ROCK... BOTTOM...
You offered the police officer a Snickers ice cream bar and cried when he wouldn't take it...
I didn't know that all of his brothers would be hot and musical too. That's a dick move on behalf of biology.
i couldn't be more explicit if i hit him upside the head with a dildo
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