and when he finished he started shouting "swim boys SWIM"
They're drinking Schnapps out of Spaghetti-o's cans. Please come pick me up.
it was frightening. in my opinion the only thing that should resemble a vagina is a vagina.
Today the house voted to defund Planned Parenthood but to continue funding NASCAR. I fucking hate everything.
Hypothetical question: If a guy wanted to watch you fuck me, would you be willing to take a long lunch break on Wednesday?
but you must be fair and judge his penis by normal penis standards and not let your vision be clouded by the rare gem of a penis you have recently encountered
The only thing that made me get out of bed this morning was knowing that tonight, I don't plan on remembering what happened today
If you come home soon there's a stripper in the shower. Don't be alarmed
I just spent 10 min explaining to my mom how orange is a strange color. I think she knows
I can't even properly respond cuz I'm ballsdeep in falafel
The only thing he told me before he passed out was that he is from Buffalo and I'm a bitch.
And then he served me a piece of a brownie on his dick. It tasted amazing. Such a good night!
the cuervo was good, but I started with jello shots. and when i threw up a whole jello shot came out.
When you wake up and wonder why your bleeding and it feels like you jumped into a ceiling fan, dont worry. Ill explain it all when I wake up.
I'm listening to a women in metal station and wearing a flannel. I may have approached peak lesbian.
Randomize
