just tell him he has love handles, he'll die of insecurity
Shes cool when Im fuckin smashed.....Sober.....She suuuuuuuuuuucks
at first I thought it was funny, but looking at it now, it screams "dramatic" and "medicated wipes."
you just started pointing at the light and whispering "star wars"
no, throwing your underwear at it is not the solution to everything
I mean, the sex was awesome last weekend, but I didn't even imagine I'd reached ovarian rupture status.
Dude when the cops came you ran through the fence. Fucking THROUGH it. You're a master ditcher.
Legitimately sent a work email with "Hey, you kids, get off my lawn" as the subject line.
I have good news and bad news. Bad news, she's not in porn. Good news, I found porn.
I'm a bit offended I got no nudies back but it's whatever
They're in the mail. Snapchats too fast. I want the suspense.
I think he just tried to put your boyfriend in a trashcan....
Walking down the street, Bro bumping to 'still' by dre. Dropped his trash on the ground and aggressively sped up when his light turned green. If you still had love for the streets you wouldn't of fucking littered. Took everything for me not to yell at him. I know you would've.
Hypothetically speaking, when I get a sugar glider would it be frowned upon to bring it Ito classes with me in m pocket?
if i hadn't ended our catfight by hugging you one of us might be dead right now
I'm a little concerned about right now. You showed up at my house soaking wet, drunk with a bag of ham and 2 liter of Dr. Pepper, and you refused to tell me where you got the ham until I gave you some more liquor.
Randomize
