I just got wrote up for "repeatedly smelling like alcohol"
That was long passed due.
I don't know what your problem is but seriously you're a cunt for throwing up that song on your page. It's rude as fuck
omg its myspace i didnt think anyone took that seriously anymore
Like... Chilling at home with a movie, hang out? Or have sexual intercourse in the backseat if his car, hang out?
He's really hot. I think he's gonna be my reason to shave this winter.
We did a shot for each one. Father... son... and holy ghost. That wasn't enough though so we moved on to toasting dead relatives.
I want a picture of impoverished children wearing Oregon national champions shirts.
Yes, I feel sorry for the tribe that gets those. They won't be able to hide from the lions.
in my drunkeness I still was able to plan for the morning. I duck taped my keys, a water bottle full of mimosa and my cell phone to the front door.
This would be a good time to bring up the fact that my spider-man fork is MIA
Some poor guy found you passed out in a bathroom stall. Again with your dick out. Looks like you got to rage after all.
Remember when you fed me goldfish while I was -inside- of someone?
Nothing worse then being at the gym on the elliptical next to a guy looking at porn on his phone
Reasonably certain my seventh grade teacher is encouraging me to drop acid on twitter
How'd the date with the redheaded dentist go?
She didn't like my gingervitis joke
Why are we so great
Like I'm def going to a therapist but I wouldn't change a thing about us except maybe the peeing
A toast to whoever set this year's daylight savings fallback to the day after halloween, granting us another hour to detox before we pretend to be functional adults. Clearly, a partier with forethought and clear priorities. Cheers!
Randomize
