I'm in a room alone pouting because I got the wrong nachos at taco bell.
Some guy said that sham wows were the same as regular shammys. needless to say you had to be restrained. you kept trying to 'slap chop' him.
Apparently blazed enough to think that the sizzling meatballs in the pan were calling your name...Ssssteeeeeve
hes like the used car salesman of hook ups and closed the deal w my taking him home with me,as is,today
Question: rebounding with your exboyfriend over your rebound guy is healthy right?
I don't know if I should be scared or excited that I can officially drink vodka on the rocks like it's 7up.
He's cute when he's drunk, too. Also he tried to fight my door...
Apparently it is frowned upon to ask the bouncer to stop pointing his flashlight in your face and step back so you can puke....and then do it
I have family pictures in an hour and a half and I'm 9 beers deep. This is how I get written out of my grandparents will...
Its okay that he doesn't remember you, he only remembers girls by their boobs and I think you were wearing a jacket
My roomate has me out looking for easter kegs hidden arround town
I'm pretty sure I just need an IV drip of Plan B at this point...
She's trying to change her flight... IM BEING COCKBLOCKED BY DELTA CUSTOMER SERVICE
sorry i got drunk at sunday brunch and force fed carrot sticks to your cat
Could be all of this cough syrup, but I’m ready to fuck 2018 up!
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