Just saw a white stretch Hummer limo outside of CiCi's pizza. Way to live up to the stereotypes, Alabama.
I need to stop fucking people before I get to know them
I mean we've tried to get high on nutmeg, we clearly dont know the definition of "too far"
I always know the weekend is over when the real license comes out and the fake goes back into the hiding spot.
I told him I'd rather have sex with his father last night. I'll admit now that I was drunk.
Well obviously when I get drunk my intelligence level surpasses yours and that's why you can't understand me.
Just saw a drunk bitch in the west village peeing on a car. You are not alone.
cant tell, his cock is acting like one of those inflatable arm waving things outside the market
I like that you're Jewish, because you can rail me on Christmas Eve and it won't be weird.
the breathalyzer kept saying danger. we made our new slogan danger we need more shots
Dude a gay guy just Sparta kicked this Samoan guy for calling him a flamer you need to get down here the free kamakazee shots haven't even started yet
After we finished having phone sex he proceeded to serenade me with Ave Maria. It was magical.
I woke up naked and alone this morning. What a life
I think part of my soul drowned in beer and/or jack daniels last night.
Excuse me I just made a hot pocket without burning down the house, I think i can do anything.
Randomize
