at a party and just made O-H-I-O out of dicks and vajayjays...i hope someone took a pic i was too busy (; GO BUCKS!!!
69 is so not fun when his penis is sporting a 70s hairstyle
Puking in one of the stalls, a guy ran in and started puking in the other stall... In between heaves we told each other our names; i found out that it was my old best friend that moved away in the 8th grade
He went bowling in his bathroom.. And shattered the toilet.
I'm calling it the Friendlationship with Benefits Zone.
Today is definitely a "stand over the toilet and pee through the opening at the bottom of my boxers" kind of day.
I guess the silver lining is that having a big dick really comes in handy when you're hungover.
It's a mixed blessing.
Ok spinning in the opposite direction thatg the room was spinning was the worst advice ever
Walking out of the bathroom and not knowing you have hand soap on the front of your pants so it looks like you blew a load on yourself really sets the tone for the rest of the week...
It's like they're playing jeopardy and the category is "things that make women dry."
I just got stoned alone and repierced my nose. don't ever tell me I'm unaccomplished
I just got stoned by myself and am eating cookies so I'm right there with you
I would pay to watch a Bravo special of you getting Botox.
Please tell me those naked pics were not your mom. Lie if you have to.
Dude! We had to write our address on your arm in permanent marker so you wouldn't get lost. You just showed the cabbie your arm and he drove you! Nice guy.
They made me leave the maternity ward, how do I get back in?
No, I'm not a heathen. You two are the heathens, I'm the whore.
Randomize
