new revelation: five guys for breakfast
new revelation: previous revelation not a good revelation
Clearly I understand physics better when I'm on cocaine
Girl walking by was talking on the phone about how he needed to write a gratitude list in her letter to god this week. Too stoned
You were like pukeahontas last night, you tried to tell us you were okay, then you puked in the garden.
Just found a partially digested mushroom under my bed. Thanks for that.
i was holding a cup in her face for her to throw up in while screaming THIS IS THE DEFINITION OF FRIENDSHIP
There are apples in the microwave and a cup of twigs in the fridge. I think she's hiding in the pantry, I can hear her giggling. Leaving her to it.
I caught them hiding behind a car trying to have sex.
I don't believe u have enough text space to describe the dimensions of his penis.
I think there is a legit party going on the place we thought was AA
Not many people can say they've been photo bombed by an antelope. I sure did.
Ran out of eye drops right after putting them in one eye. Half baked at work.
He sent me a picture of his dick as a snake, I'd say things are going great.
i guess "never drinking again" is not an option when you invent a whole new level of drunk...
tell me about the eggs
Randomize
