I mean, there was frosting being put on a tunafish sandwich. Pretty sure she knew we were high.
No... No really he actually thought the condom was meant for his hand...
Yo send me the pic of me stickn my dick in the paint bucket last night
She's gone now. Left with the wind like a majestic leaf that just rides the invisible current to locations unknown. And dude, her friends were really hot.
I walked into the bathroom of the hotel and she's in the bath tub with a guy she met a day ago. They were sharing a shrimp cocktail platter and shot gunning bud lights. Oh and it was noon.
Seriously? You DON'T remember putting all those Swedish fish in the waffle iron b/c you wanted "One big Swedish fish?" That waffle iron was a wedding gift.
She just broke into my apartment while I was asleep, woke me up and drunkenly tried to seduce me for about 2 minutes, then passed out..
Shawn wouldn't stop singing about his cock on the ride home that night it freaked my girlfriend out how consistent he was
Sex with him is like pizza, it can be shitty but its stillll pizza.....
I hope Team Snapchat has been enjoying our sex snaps all this week.
It's 11:13am and my chem prof is drinking a beer in class. I guess finals week is stressful for them too
You have not lived until you've slid down a waterfall fucked out of your mind. Fact.
His mom let me come to his house for a Booty call at 4am. She even cooked us breakfast in the morning and told me im a better moaner than his girlfriend of 4yrs.
You made me brush your teeth last night......for 47 minutes.
the teacher told me he was disappointed and when I asked why he just shook his head. remember that kid that caught us having sex behind the school? pretty sure that was his son.
Randomize
