she's like the human form of herpes, as soon as you think she's gone for good you have another out break.
Is it possible to be promiscuous but in a classy way?
i got last night's adventure to take the garbage out when he was leaving. my vagina is THAT good.
they hired a photographer to take a family portrait for grandmas bday gift. we just hired a male stripper. we are def the better grandkids.
He said I did a backflip off the thing on the doorframe and busted my ass. I'd give anything to remember
High gym went like this: I went to Dairy Queen instead.
I want you to come over here and spit coffee in my mouth like a momma bird feeding a baby bird. That hung over.
If you're asking how many times you took off your clothes and played with the tiki torches.....the answer is 3.
The whole time we were fucking I kept thinking, "My dad would love this cologne. I'll have to ask him where he got it." the highlight of the night is that I figured out my dad's birthday gift.
I got so stoned last night I thought I was in second grade again
I was told that I need a reference for my blow job skills. Be expecting a phone call tomorrow.
I dipped out before he woke up, but I made sure to take the pizza with me.
Did you mean to say flashlight? Or did your grandpa really give you a fleshlight for your bday?
He spilled some of his beer on your shoulder then proceeded to lick it off. By the face you made, I don't know if you were completely horrified or really turned on.
I often worry that if I get famous, people from my past will recognize me and start talking to the media
Randomize