i found out what alaskan girls practice during those six months of darkness
he keeps his weed in a birkenstock shoe box. its like, we get it, youre from oregon.
$5 long island pitchers = roommate pissing on his laptop at 3am.
The last thing I remembered was laying in the bathtub fully clothed with the shower running while he was picking grilled cheese out of my hair. I couldn't figure out if i was more upset about being soaking wet or the fact that my grilled cheese was in my hair instead of my mouth.
It's isn't revenge sex until you've cum on her porcelain doll collection.
dude you said you were going to be a human flag and climbed the telephone pole and fell in front of a car
THIS IS NO TIME FOR SHAME JOSH. JUST GOTTA GET IT IN. PURELY FOR LEVELING UP PURPOSES
Dude, you flipped off a cat from my balcony and yelled at it to get a house
I'm just gonna go with where the wind takes me. if it takes me to his dick, so be it.
He was the highest I've ever seen. Almost had him convinced there are only three colors in the rainbow...
Starting this Monday as I always do
With a desperate plea for help
I hope the lord has blessed you with many tampons, child.
Also so weird my phone cracked after I repeatedly threw it at the ground as hard as possible
So there i was right, midnight, washing my junk off in my bathroom sink.
He ate me out in the warehouse on a pallet of sunlight soap. I fucking love night shift!
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