How fat would you say she has to be before I can consider this a threesome
I'm tempted to see how fat I can get before he leaves me. It's obvious we're playing a game of chicken here.
My god. We'll be gay porn millionaires.
I pretty much just threw a bunch of clothes and my vodka in a bag..idk where I'm gonna end up tonight but I'm prepared.
Thinking about adopting a 16 yr old here. Her name is Abby and she likes vodka. We've bonded. I need a sober driver n e ways...
Know of anyone who would be interested in trading weed for meatballs?
How was the party last night?
I'm dangerously close to shitting myself.
my talents include tricking people into giving me money and free drugs
You know you're doing college wrong when you have to bail your RA out of jail
I got so drunk that I peed my bed...and all over him. The ironic thing is that he slept in his swimming trunks.
Someone needs to fuck me in my slutty pumpkin costume and I would ideally like it to be you
Btw. I have a sinus infection from doing cocaine in a portapotty at a Duran Duran concert. So, gimme a couple of days before y'all start the party.
I swear to god my spidey sense only tingles when someone’s about to die or you’re being a hoe.
He showed up in a Prius. I didn’t even wanna.... So I left.
Dude you came into the room last night soak and wet and told me you just took a shit in the shower
Randomize
