You drew a self portrait of yourself on his wall with sharpie.
just peed in the tub. didnt notice the passed out drunk guys there until a minute in
Today I learned you can't titshake with a corset on.
Yea, i was tied up and blindfolded. And someone was throwing chicken nuggets at my face.
No, pictures of your dick will not make me feel better about my grandmother having a brain tumor.
I just want him to slap me with his dick and call it love
He was literally going down on me and giving me a foot rub AT THE SAME TIME. What more can I ask for?
My underwear are in the stairs so apparently I did take the dog out.
That guy has been pretty randomly in and out of my vagina for 4 years...I don't think I'm required to tell him when I'm dating.
Good point.
I just accidentally showed an old lady a pic of my penis while showing her cat pics. So how's your day going?
The last thing I remember is goading each other into a vodka-chugging competition.
Pants are for mortals
I'm done, I have no more memes or ways to ask for nudes, so yeah
I think I should've done my makeup before I took the acid. Because now I just feel silly looking at myself in the mirror
i just remembered i drunk watched the brave little toaster last night
Randomize
