Wooohooo! I'm sitting in the car like a creep watching people walk in and out of Blush. Lots of happy people.
...So a 6 ft tall drag queen in heels I would kill for just told me I have a dunkable ass. I'm confused...but I'll take any compliment I can.
I just did something awful... i just had to tell someone... i just used my brothers electric face cleaner as a vibrator
took acid and went on safebus. all the lights were off except the adds. swear to god it was a submarine
I've come to realize time passes slowest when I'm sitting in class, waiting for microwavable foods, working out, & giving head.
He's Hawaiian. Thank god it wasnt a real American
Lauren she was gnawing on a dresser. Gnawing. On. A. Dresser.
Has now officially visited every ER in this city in one semester.
Let me make this really simple. We woke up this morning and fucked three times. When I got up and took a shower she cleaned up the mess from last night and did the dishes. Then we went out and she bought me brunch. I don't give a FUCK how much you don't like her.
I am stoned at Disneyland with my little brother. It's gonna be a good day.
i need to stop meeting underage girls and letting them into the bar. i mean yea its a surefire way to get laid without having to tell them I'm 26 but i feel like as a bouncer I'm focusing on all the wrong things
This girl I interned with got engaged today and I'm just like over here taking plan B with my tacos and PBR.
He deserves someone who will touch his penis at 3 a.m.
we had sex in his office so i figured it was appropriate to like his company's page on facebook
I think I'm taking after my dog, I just want to hump everything
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