Something clean will definitely be barfed on tomorrow.
This just in: Jon Gosselin's address-The Alexandra. I bet if we showed up he'd date us.
you guys are cousins why the FUCK are your pants off
I just saw a guy in front of the courthouse giving himself a sobriety test and fail it...this can't end well
I'm pretty sure I saw a man standing on a table with no shirt on getting sugar thrown at him while "pour some sugar on me" blaring while the cops were in the house.
We have a drunk bartender with her nips a quarter inch from bein out buying us shots. GET HERE.
You just said the magic words
im not 100% but im pretty sure at some point i was rubbing ur bf's beard telling him how magnificient i thought it was
Walking down the street trying to find the pants I had on last night
I apologize for violently hooking up with her in front of you in the jacuzzi last night.
I'm approaching homosexuality at an increasingly alarming rate with each break up.
i spent 45 minutes yellng Heather I feel so bad i wanna die and then 45 more yelling I DONT WANNT TO DIE. thats how drunk i was
You sent 2 glasses of water to the table next us and told to the waitress they were on you. I repeat: water
It's a good thing he's hot, because it seemed like he was trying to do CPR on my private parts
I just watched an intern spill two trays of coffee inside a spinning door
Best exit from a building ever
He forgot how to sit. we had to pick him up and set him down.
Randomize
