How the fuck did you go into work today? You are a better man than I. I couldn't even show up to being unemployed on time.
i puked in the mini-firdge
we don't have a mini-fridge?
bought one. it ws too cheap to pass up. xcept now there's puke in it,,, but the freezer's fine so i feel pretty good about that
And I just remember seeing him for the first time and being like, who is this ape of a man? Like legit he could be the missing link
and when i put it inside her she yelled "welcome aboard!"
you threw up out the window, wiped your face with a twenty dollar bill, and threw that out the window too.
did we at least go back and get it?
how else do you think we got jack in the box...?
dude,it's memorial day.not getting wasted=you're a terrorist
You kept making that girl eat peanuts, saying they were good for her baby..... I don't think she pregnant
Sorry you called when I was puking in a cheetos bag
It was dark, she woke me up, gave me a blowjob and then whispered in my ear: do you know who I am?
Now I get the fucking shakes every time I hear I'm Sexy And I Know It. Thanks, Captain Morgan.
He came over to use the microwave, said he needed to heat up some urine.
It's like some sort of initiation to finger one of them... so I did it. And got high fived afterwards like a dozen times.
Those were right hand only?
That's a lot of people she's fucked in one picture.
He's bringing a lesbian pretending to be his girlfriend to family Christmas. I can not wait to see how this goes.
On cleanup... i've counted 94 solo cups so far.. oh, and i found a miniature top hat in the microwave
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