people and things i regret. that's what i want to do tonight.
Desperate + desperate does not equal a fun night.
Contrary to what I yelled at them last night, it turns out campus police CAN arrest people...
you should give me head with plastic fangs in
He scored a 8.5/10 on that girls powerpoint. Of course I slept with him
An attempt at squeezing a tomato to make a bloody mary just says desperation all over it....
He asked if I smoke and I said "only fools like you on the basketball court!" Then I started crying. I think I'm about to have my period.
you got us kicked out of the restaurant for trying to pee in the trash can.
I'll do a soapy photo shoot for you in the shower. No loofas, though. Once you get one of those caught in your nipple ring, you never go back.
My vagina bone hurts from grinding on that dude so hard.
What not to say at an interview: i can wrap the shit out of some food.
don't act like you've never hung your towel on your dick after getting out of the shower
Again? Most people check out of hotels, they don't escape from them
be right there i have to get my cape
you need a warning label. Just announcing that you are Scottish is seen more as a challenge. Those guys have no idea what they are getting into.
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