Its not small because its small, Its small because it was cold outside
We watched 'the mighty ducks' last night and took shots every time someone quacked. I woke up this morning wearing a nothing but a hockey jersey laying next to him on the floor. He was wearing a goalie mask. I really wish I knew what happened.
please remember that your boobs are bigger than your sisters. when you borrow her shirts they stretch and then shes left flapping in the breeze. dont borrow her clothes anymore. love dad.
just found my diary from when i was 14. i demand a drinking game of this.
This is drunk me apologizing to sober me in advance.. I am sprry about you're trashed house. Mom an dad will be home by 5 so get up and clean. P.s. Mike is in the closet passed out.
Today I learned you can't titshake with a corset on.
I got a phone call from security asking me to do my laundry wearing more than a blanket next time.
she gave me her number. found out it was already stored in my phone as "bathroom blowjob"
I kind of feel like BP. I'm dressed in green and absolutely horrible for the environment.
The acoustics in my bra are fantastic.
Last night did I take a piece of pizza out of your hand and then proceed to eat it?
Twice...
I taped a pair of scissors and a coupon for a waxing on the door. He gets to choose.
This feeling I'm having... is it love or a combination of alcoholism and unprotected rough sex
Like I fucked him in the shower at 3 am when I had classes all day the next day so he can't say I'm not dedicated
Stoned. Scared. Bring pool noodle and onion rings.
Randomize
