Sex on a trampoline was so worth getting a mosquito bite on my penis
Where??
Against the wall. In corner. Only gave him head though don't worry
Balls are like the throw pillows of the penis
she wants me to text her or call her all the time when we are apart...this is not high school...
As soon as he told me I had a 'pretty laugh' I knew I'd be putting out more than I had originally planned.
Somehow I gave him blood blisters on his dick...I don't know if I'm that good or that bad.
just tripped. bootyfest 2012 will be my engagement party. i saw the whole future. i'm moving to the beach.
I cant prove it..but im almost positive that you were just outside my window watching me while eating out of a bag of Cheetos...
I'm being responsible and going as a gay, slutty Mormon missionary. It's responsible because I'll have a bike helmet on for when I fall over because I'm too shitfaced to stand upright. It's safer than Count Fagula. I just need to come up with a line equal or greater than "Blaaaa I want to suck your dick"
it was either a cry for help or you were gargling vodka. we didnt care either way.
It's time for everyone's favorite Wednesday night game... WHEEL OF. VODKA!!!!!
I figure a girl that drinks as much as I do should always have pregnancy tests on hand
Jesus, I think this onesie was designed to keep me from masturbating.
I never thought the most recent texts on my phone would be with ASAP ferg and my ex...
We should write a country song: “Blacked Out on a Sunday”
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