Me= Watching Ferngully. My neighbor= Having really loud sex including multiple orgasms
Oh God
I know, but the worst part is I'm not really sure which I'd rather be doing. Feel free to re-evaluate our friendship
1 of the best things of being a business owner is I don't get fired for having sex in the office
We're like two naked peas in a sex pod.
I remember her trying to talk to me a few times after we broke up and I'd always change the subject to bagels.
Alone. In an inflatable pool. Drinking vodka and raspberry lemonade. I don't need approval as much as I need to know you love me still.
Can I get a DUI with a shopping cart? I've nearly hit 2 displays and little girl...
So you plan on doing double washing machine sex? Like. A double date. But with sex. On a washing machine..?
you took a potato out of your pocket and just started eating it raw. don't know where the potato came from though
21st birthday = success
i have an important question...can you drink in jail?
The trash can in my living room is full of Popsicle sticks and my vibrator has taken up permanent residence on my coffee table. I'm not doing anything productive. Clearly.
He deadlifted me and I came just a little at the apex
Dislocated my knee during sex, popped it back in and kept going. Then got simpathy chipotle out of it too.
Btw, remind me to tell you about how I had to cancel my crazy wild sex plans with Will b/c my roommate came back from his trip after a day b/c Canada wouldn't let him in. Fucking cockblock.
Actually that's the whole story. You don't have to remind me.
I'm determining which apartments I'm mostly to move into based on how suitable the kitchens are for sex .
i keep smelling vagina and donuts, which pretty much sumarises this morning. happy birthday.
Randomize
