On a side note I can sing drakes “best I ever had” so good you’d think I was on degrassi.
You have to stop making references to your extense knowledge of 13 year old girl television programming for me to believe you aren’t homo. The Bravo line-up was one thing, but seriously
yes, the chronicles of narnia is exactly what happens when you do crack inside of a wardrobe.
You say "I'm in class" like it matters... I'm getting a little tired of having to smoke by myself at 4:20 because you're in class.
i was driving around baked, windows down jamming to third eye blind and eating grapes for 35 minutes before i remembered why i left my house
Just took the worst coed shower ever. We both cried. AND I only shaved one leg.
she drove 3 hrs one way just to sleep with me. I felt bad complaining about paying for condoms.
I couldn't tell you were laughing too hard
Dude I thought I set my hair on fire. I wasn't laughing I was screaming.
I'd like to bring you 40 virgins and treasure chests of gold to make you feel better
I just found a casserole dish in my oven filled with broken glass, blood, and chopsticks. And the REALLY fucked up thing is that finding it answered more questions than it raised.
We got a kitchen table so we would eat together more. So far we've played drunken monopoly and had sex on it.
I didn't think it was possible but he dislocated his thumb during intercourse last night then cried
She's hot and all. It's just I don't want to become Eskimo brothers with my sister
Like I wasn't going to make out with the hot Australian sitting next to me at the Portland blazer game?
all I remember is grinding on everyone in the room regardless of gender and quoting the lion king non-stop. We need to stop buying Jameson.
You where banging on the wall asking us where we hid the door...you then crawled under the deck thinking you'd be safe. I told you to eat the nachos before the party...I told you.....
Randomize
