dude just tell them you don't wear clothes. they'll understand
there is this woman at the counter who looks identical to linda ellerbee. and she's grinning. COME. INSIDE. NOW.
hey is it cool if i invite some fat girls to the party so i can be the skinny one?
yeah okay. but if i take one home with me you have to come over in the morning and tell her to get her shit and go.
He wanted me to blow him while he was playing guitar hero. there will not be a second date
Neighbors just bought a new bong. Got high with them and we decided to name it "Gary colemans sweet sugarlumps" these guys are hilarious
Your clothes are in washers 2,3 and 4. I arranged by darks, whites, then frat... I'm not even joking
They are baked and once again have spent the last 45 mins talking about opening up a world wide business called "pickle on a stick"
i literally paused in the middle of it, turned on my light, pointed to the picture netxt to my bed and go "you hooked up with my roommate too!!! AWWW!" he was so weirded out. i don't think he understands the relationship we have..we share..
Just remembered getting lost in a "shortcut" through yards and GPSing my way home last night
I can't wait for round whatever # we're on tonight.
It's going to take a while to see a dick pic that I enjoy more than richs helicopter video
you have a wonderful penis attached to someone I'm having a lot of problems with right now
How bad is it I'm looking at his cock while waiting to see my therapist?
All I've done is masturbate and drink while being home from college.
I have an important idea to tell you when I'm sober about a cat scratching my nose once and what it taught me. DONT LET ME FORGET.
Randomize