sooo how much is appropriate to spend on a vibrator? what if it is really legit looking?
Do you have any idea why the dryer isn't working?
Because you touch yourself at night.
She took her shirt off and was broader than Dwight Howard.
Reach down the front of your pants and feel around for a while. When you find your balls, leave the library and meet me at the bar.
So me and friend just finished Eiffel towering this girl and sounds great in theory but after the high five has commenced its just a weird threesome especially when you make eye contact with your buddy during the session
season finale of lost and an oz of weed. tonight my mind is going to be blown.
dude. you ripped the mardi gras beads off the girls neck and yelled she didnt deserve them..
I need moral support for this bender
Because of him my new motto is "Keep calm and fuck a guy with a beard". Yes, I am serious.
Feels like someone put a cigar out where my butthole used to live
I woke up in my tom cruise outfit with my house key tied to my thong....
Did we seriously just get into a fist fight over kit kats?
I learned that I order a bunch of dollar shots at the bar and once it's ready turned around and say "who wants pay?" And someone will pay
Ok, maybe playing "whose family is most dysfunctional" wasn't the best drunk idea we've had. Todd''s been crying in the bathroom for an hour. We can't get him out...
I let my daughters ex boyfriend take me home from the bar. Hey, at least he's old enough to drink
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