Did you hit it?
Turns out she was a he. but to answer your question, yes.
I'm gonna have sex with a woman...help
I came home to burning cookies and him outside "tanning" naked.
He just wants an even tan
It's not my fault I help girls realize they're lesbians.
My mom just told me to make sure my face isn't on the front cover of the newspaper on 4/21. Challenge accepted
and then you started talkingabout how you wish birth control was disspensed as a candy necklace
You rode him down the last flight of stairs like a human sled.
On that note I give you a 10 for sticking the landing and staying on the whole ride.
I told you he wasn't attractive.
Do you think I cared? I was wiping myself with a scarf..
Apparently at 2 AM I decided to let the world know about my newfound love for elephants
The Universe is CLEARLY playing a bad joke on your sex life
I'm seriously considering refraining from drinking on school nights.
I like how you say that with 4 school days left of the school year..
Yes. That was the exact moment of my conscience clicking into instant high alert.
He literally cried into his tacos and screamed fuck bitches. Don't know if it was the best, or the worst hook up, ever.
All the movies on cable here are either porn or Bollywood. I am never leaving this hotel.
I've struck affair-gold. He's hot, he's ripped, he doesn't want a relationship, and most importantly he won't have to ask Gods permission to bang me like the last religious nut job did.
Randomize
