i really wish facebook had an app for when you are looking at a chick's photo album, you could just skip to the ones where she and/or her friends are dressed like skanks
we turned dreidel into a drinking game. i kept landing on gimel. im glad we have 7 more nights of this
Hey. I found $5 in quarters from one of those state quarter collection books. I'm using it for food tomorrow.
so, the parking garage attendent caught us humping in the car. long story short, we have free parking whenever we want! take that abstinence.
Dude you make losing your phone an art. You left it balancing on a two liter bottle in the kitchen. Wtf
Retelling stories from our semester makes me realize we need to get tested for herpes.
His "hunger Strike for change" lasted 4 days. Hi welcome to my coke binge last weekend....not impressed
Just hit him with your car. I can guarantee he won't do it again.
the last guy with this job had a bookshelf fall on him. He's in the Er. Im high and they gave me his shift. How do you think i feel?
OMG HIS EYES ARE POOLS OF SEX. HOT SEX.
I mean, I love her. But not "I'll have a threesome with her." Type of love.
Well, I have a text in my phone that just says "Scrumtrelescent" from a girl I have in here as "Cheesy Tits", so you figure out how my night was going.
Happy cinco de mayo!! Puke filled sombrero in the lawn needs to be picked up and whos never punched my fence boards in half needs to replace those by the way the owner of those panties (see attached photo) anytime you wanna cum over;-) hiii!
He legit watched "Cops" the entire time he was fingering me.
& he told me that I give the best head ever.. like can I get that on a medal?
Randomize
