Friends don't let friends fuck ugly girls. WALK AWAY FROM HER!
You covered in salsa con queso would take care of all of my cravings right now
We've been fucking since Friday.... This is the most committed non-committed relationship I've ever been in
Hung over. Bed full of legos for some reason. Not getting up. Come build stuff with me.
I have had more skin than food in my mouth the last three days
I hate when people see you passed out in your front yard and call 911. Like what, you can't take a nap face down on your steps at 4pm?
Is it cheating if its a threesome? This is more like a party game than infidelity.
This is actually a pretty big deal for him. I mean, he contacted a stranger out of concern for someone else instead of for sex.
That does show growth.
Robert just walked in drunk, grabbed my Jameson from me, told me to let him do his thing, and spilled it all over the coffee table. Then he told me to grab a funnel because he was going home.
A guy just grabbed my balls before he shook my hand because he thought he knew me.
You're such a good friend. You send me pictures of your boobs when I'm sad. I will always appreciate that.
like when you break up with someone your virginity slowly starts to grow back & when it's done it's like ding ding ding you're ready to date again
tbh I think I just dated him for his dogs in the first place.
You went home with a guy at 11... than returned to the bar at 1
No problem...what are friends for if they can't rub eachothers genitals.
Randomize
