So the bouncer told me I could leave the easy way or the hard way. I told him I was going to make him earn his 10 bucks that hour.
Apparently you chose the latter.
apparently i'm not the first person wake up and realize she's ugly cuz i tore this house apart and there is no sign of my clothes
yea pretty sure we followed the trail of your spaghetti-o vomit to find the car
She's okay as an interesting car wreck. But as a sexual object she's funny
I don't know the quality of the hand jobs you've received in the past but it CLEARLY was not one from me
Nicole, you can't keep coming over at 3am wanting to build igloos.
The only way I could get him to agree to hook up with her is telling him I'd hook up with him next week.
I was more than drunk as hell I have rug burn on my elbows from ninja roles on the ground..
I left my coke in the bird nest in the bathroom stall last night but I found it nest and all in my purse I love morning suprises
I give you full permission to seriously injure me the next time I think it's a good idea to face a bottle of vodka
Hey, I'm renting a storage locker for the summer to keep all my bondage shit in so my parents don't see it. You wanna split on it for your all your weed shit?
I like her because we want the same things out of life AND she actually wants to have sex with me.
That's what you get for doing kinky shit with a guy that lives in his moms basement.
So is seeing the guy's penis that I'm talking to something you're into or nah?
Pumped to get "pass out-wake up in Berlin-buy a chinchilla" drunk?
Randomize
