It's sad how good I am at giving people diseases
Tipsy and thinking of you. Talk tomorrow. My alliteration is awesome.
I just took boredom to a whole new level. I just auto-tuned and remixed today's western civ lecture
Don't worry. I has chaperone.
I decided to buy a keg of Miller Lite instead of paying the electric bill. Just thought I'd give you a heads up...
If you can get laid in a rudolph onesie you are doing something right my friend.
God she is annoying. I am only keeping her around on fb because I want to see if her baby comes out looking like an alien or not.
I may not have eyeballs after all the drunk naked people having sex outside.
He's hot though. It's not like he JUST got out of prison. That was like months ago
New year means new boundaries for the Brazilian lady.. I'm pretty sure I got wax on my asshole
I've just never heard the term serendipitous used to describe having one's asshole licked.
There's a man with a stuffed dog and a can of dog food on the L. Should I break it to him?
Best not to. Some people need their delusions.
Do you have a moment to talk about our lord and savior, Kendra's boobs?
she bought my drinks all night, made me breakfast in the morning, and let me use her expensive hair products before i left. best one night stand ever.
This date is awful. He’s too boring to bang
Is porn accurate? Can I order a pizza and do the delivery boy?
Randomize
