This is how scared I get when I ride roller coasters. And how scared I was when I had to poop when I had herpes.
this is like her 8th guy since december, is she wasn't frumpy people would call her a whore
She was so drunk that I kept trying to switch out her wine for water. Sort of like Jesus, but in reverse.
I still have your handprint on my ass. You're not allowed to ignore me yet.
Is it weird that I want your dad to go down on me?
Hey so summary of last night. I threw up in a rain boot then tipped it over on my bed, did my laundry and passed the fuck out. I feel like I didn't see you.
He said I could pay him back in blow jobs. What's the going rate for those these days?
Dude you filled up a protein shake mixer with White Russians so you didn't have to keep coming upstairs.
I woke up in confetti... confetti and shame
I swear to god he's making pineapple onions and cheese. He thinks he's making eggs onions and cheese
Friend as in 'I used to have sex with her' or friend as in 'I still want to have sex with her'?
It's best not to have your booty call on social media. So if they post stupid shit, you still want to fuck them.
a reward? ill think of something
if its not drugs or food I swear to god ill throw a fit
She never came back from the bathroom so I went to look for her... I was in my room and heard this rustling. And she was in my closet petting ties.
I collect Covid conspiracy theories like I collect Pokemon.
Randomize
