At best buy, little boy just crawled into my stall while i was taking a shit
you sang the finger bang song from south park while fingering me. needless to say, kind of a turn off.
Just watched the couple I sit for and 4 of their friends shotgun beers like college kids. Please let this be us when we get older.
In the middle of fucking me, she said "Hold on, I need my Hulk hands."
i just unblacked out cuddled in a pita pit booth with ten dollars rubberbanded to my hand.
When he came downstairs he looked at me like I was attempting to rob his house.
Did you reintroduce yourself?
He threatened to call the cops.
She just kept saying "bless your heart" to him while he cried because he came so fast. I think a Texas woman was just what he needed
Dear Penis Owner...our records show that you are overdue for servicing...please contact our friendly associates to schedule a thoroughly satisfying experience today...operators are standing by...
Your message cut off at "shit on the floor". Your life is incredible.
Porn. Physics. Porn. Icecream. Porn. That's my life now.
You know just a typical night. Eating peanut butter off of tablespoons and having sex to our favorite Christmas carols. This is my favorite time of year.
We went to Olive Garden so high we didn't talk and managed to be awkward enough for the waiter to ask if it was our first date
i liked you for your lack of ambition and abundance of weed
Why is there multiple peanut butter and toasts stuck to the fridge door?
I could be the Kenny Powers of Sex Therapists.
Randomize
