My e-date is really photogenic. Real-life not so much
he wants to bone in the snuggie
tequila makes her clothes fall off
wow Mom, sounds like youre having a good time
Well, that's a 3 inch weight lifted off of my vagina
I feel more comfortable going down on her then actually kissing her.
that ring i bought was worth the 6 bucks. wore it to the bar, told some girl i was recently divorced and wasnt ready to take it off. just got laid. THRICE.
You passed out while holding my hair during a blow job.. i think your gona have to earn back blow jobs
You're not stopping till I see you on the ground trying to hold on to shit
What happened with the girl wasn't a gay thing. It was just a mutual respect and want for sex. The guys just weren't there.
Call it what you want. You fucked a girl.
Yeah and you keep saying "I know how to win America." While running away from us
The hotel had a helipad. Of course we had sex on it.
I like it here so far, only people are a lot less accepting of my terrible decisions and it's cramping my style
Just saw the pics from the bachelor party. When the hell did we go to southie. And why was there a chicken in the limo..? You guys really are my best friends.
the only fun thing to do here is drink beer and make mistakes. i feel like im in college again
Ever try to swallow something and have it go up into your nose instead? Yeah, I just sneezed bacon.
Randomize
