there are some really hot girls on the bus. i want to lips them
what's the vibe there?
extraordinary amounts of gine
Who keeps a bong in their car??
Kids who graduated high school two weeks ago.
i googled "where to have sex in disneyland." i found nothing.
He was putting purell on my boobs saying "they need to be clean for later." He hadn't had a drink all night
Apparently 'she used to sleep with my brother' is not an acceptable answer to how do you know each other.
I have a feeling that watching gay porn with you was the reason I was dancing in a hurricane of floating dicks in my dream last night.
Just bought a beer belt to complete the Captain America outfit. I will do my part as a hero of America to pass out beer to the good citizens of America.
i think he spiked my sandwich with a viagra
Wow my largely unnecessary pool of lizard-related knowledge finally came in handy. Are you proud?
I don't know what to say
JUST BECAUSE I LIKE TO BE TIED UP AND SPANKED DOESNT MEAN IM GOING TO LIKE TO BE TIED UP AND SPANKED AT WORK
woke with Taco Bell next to me in bed and people's shoe sizes written on my arm.
The FEDEX guy just cock blocked me by getting his van stuck in my driveway
It was hands down the most magical fuck I've ever had
It was the only fuck you've ever had..
you said it was a life or death situation, being your partner for beer pong doesn't count
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