Maybe I lied like you did about your herpes.
I've rolled joints bigger than that penis.
My gyno told me the birth control she prescribed reduces sex drive
wats the point then?
So he sent me a text that said "say hi to your vajayjay for me"
Was there any message he wanted you to relay to your asshole?
You mean 'full wolf form' wasn't a drunk text?
Have you ever wondered what your stripper song would be?
Turns out my drunken logic and wordsmithing isn't quite the same as the sober version. I'm pretty sure I made fun of the managers mom at one point
He will. He has no choice. What's he gonna do? Find a better fuck buddy? We both know that's not possible. I'm the ideal friend with benefit. Minus snoring and uneven tits.
I don't know what's worse the the fact he has worn a protective cup for last 3 years in fear of being kicked in the balls. Or the fact that the one day he decides to throw caution to the wind and doesn't wear it and actually gets kicked in the balls.
Who in tha hell do u hang out with?
Carson kissed me on my cold sore before I could stop him so I think I gave my kid herpes. Mom of the year. Just call me MOTY.
Naw. I'm tired and I'd have to shave my legs. I doubt the sex or the company would be worth it.
Being a fine ass woman in a world full of fuckboys is the realest struggle I've ever known.
Also, there's definitely not a non-hilarious way to ask to stick something up your butt.
I deserve this hangover.
Best news I’ve heard all day. Cookies and dick. What more could a girl ask for?
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