Well how sick are u. Ive got a good immune system.
Good news! Whoever used this stall at Target earlier...not pregnant!
i just threw up a quarter into the urinal in the bathroom at the bar. everybody else stared then cheered. that drunk
a commercial for my antidepressant came on and they said you shouldn't take if if you drink right as i took a shot
god is laughing at you again
I couldn't function. I was to the point where I was using a bottle cap as a monocle.
There're making snowcones with the leftover vodka from last night. This is not the time to be making up excuses!
He lectured me about the dangers of drugs while wearing a sombrero and doing interpretive dance.
Idea for the cake. Joints for candles. Do it.
I haven't even booked my flights yet and I have my drug supply sorted
Ugh I can't even look at alcohol this weekend, my body needs to heal.
so it turns out the huge bruises on my knees are from drunk bmxing and not getting railed from behind on the ground
and ill have you know that I only wiped out twice
What are we just gonna be those girls that get fucked in your parents basement and not get taken to dinner? I don't wanna be those girls.
Tonight was a total waste of a shaved vagina
OMG LOOK AT THAT PIECE OF MAN
I haven’t trained for this.
This is the most aggressive rendition of that Proclaimers song I ever heard.
Randomize
