Do vagina's smell?
i just traded a sweatshirt for margaritas... why did they ever stop using the barter system??!!
heading to class now, facing the weekend consquences
you said you were a responsible adult. then you licked the wall.
theres a wall by my room thats like, a prime fucking wall. before i move out SOMEBODY is gonna fuck me on that wall, goddamnit.
Well for number 40 i would prefer to at least like the guy attached to the dick
It's cool, I power napped on the dryer while they were fucking in the bathroom so I'm good to go now. Where are you?
Impromptu road trip to New Orleans for four days of Mardi Gras. I'll probably be alive and back for Valentine's Day plans, probably won't stick my dick in some random either-might be using my free pass you cheating asshat. Love you. Expect random texts & probably a drunk dial or twelve. You did this to yourself. You're not invited so don't bother. Have fun at work.
Dude. Steinbecking. It's when you double-fist coffee and alcohol to help you meet a writing deadline.
My dad sent me a 10 ft beer bong and my mom sent me ideas for future careers. I'll let you guess who my favorite parent is. Also, come over tonight. and bring beers.
Up until today, I never would have thought I'd have to tell someone not to color on the cat
That's true because who the fuck doesn't love Harry Potter and beer
I wanted to make my beer stronger so I poured vodka in it. Why god....why
The cat hopped on my bed and watched me masturbate naked with a vibrator. I've never felt more sorry in my entire life
I need advice on ways to politely say “fuck you on your way to hell”.
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