so i'm sitting in his room drinking tequila from the bottle and watching harry potter. he's jacking off to some porn a couple feet away from me. at one point i look over and see that he's watching me instead of the porn. please help me figure out how warped it is that i found that romantic
Do you think this abandoned cigarette has herpes? cuz I'm tempted.
he took his pants off right in front of me then just stood there so i went for his boxers and he said he was waiting till marriage
I hope this doesn't become one of those friendships where we dont have sex
Why is hotel staff askin about the blood in our room
It's really sad that I'm trying to calculate in my head the type of place to have dinner that's worth anal
Convincing a cop that you have diplomatic immunity is way harder in Dallas than in Serbia. And you get fined for attempted bribery.
I just watched our fat male neighbor dibble a soccer ball across the lawn. It looked like Baywatch with diabetes
Well right but if we go, he may just disappear for a long time into the unknown with the drag queens.
Don't know how your birthday has been, but mine has involved Hershey's syrup and a blowie. It's safe to say you're playing catch up.
I have so many feelings about this burrito
I find him attractive in the absolute weirdest way. Like I need him to do my taxes, but I also feel like I should spill things on him to gain his attention and then lick it off to gain his affection.
Come cuddle! I'll be passed out somewhere in the library. It'll be like a scavenger hunt!
I'm sitting in the hospital with him while he's still half drunk with a busted leg because he thought he could do parkour off a rock
There's something sensual about taking off a pair of socks.
Randomize
