He just left me a message saying he left the rest of the weed for me. Did i just get paid for sex? And if yes did i just get paid in drugs?
just got carried INTO the bar by 4 people. it's like watching my weekend in reverse.
Was rudely woken up by strangers at 4:15am. I was leaning against the stoplight at 9th
hey. so did i get tied up by a jumprope last night?
He did plead exhaustion. And I made him push through it. I am like the motherfucking badass football coach of sex.
I may have just serenaded the sadface couple sitting on a bench outside the dorm by singing Bye Bye Bye.
I'm not drinking anymore...and by that, I mean until St. Patrick's Day.
Omfg amy I'm not kidding you I think a blow job is what landed me in the hospital
He ripped off my pantyhose and all I could think was, "oh no those were clinic-appropriate!" That's what I get for ditching a continuing education meeting to go hook up with my scuba instructor.
Body shots with my MILFs MILF!!
All I did was send my mom an ecard
i will not be out-irished. not this night. if i don't wake up tomorrow handcuffed to a hospital bed, i have failed my ancestors.
There is a Victoria's Secret pageant on right now with Taylor Swift singing in lingerie. I didn't know a penis could get this erect.
I just felt emotion and I'm not okay with it
Good morning 7am walk of shame. It's been awhile.
If I could tell my younger self three things it would be: 1. Smoke a lot more weed 2. Have a lot more sex 3. Own a good set of pots and pans
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