Can we have unprotected sex soon?
Don't quote me on that, I'm a walking boner
10 dollar pizza all the toppings you want. Wait Until You See This Pizza
I just used a coupon while buying plan B. The pregnant sales clerk nodded in approval.
He was like a Bill Nye the science guy of sex....he was telling me things about my clitoris that I didn't even know
it tasted disgusting. but i pretty much drank it in the name of science, and free alcohol
I need to get my pants from under your porch. People are asking questions.
Just a heads up, the coffee pot is filled with Jager.
Seriously, in what other class can the final major discussion be what bar you're going to with your prof?
you got me arrested i just think that goes without question you owe me a blowjob
I AM OVERLY HIGH AND OVERLY AWARE OF MY TONGUE IN MY MOUTH
Anyhow, I am sorry for being obnoxious about wanting more sex and forcing you to eat lunchmeat off of my ginormous nipples. I knew that you weren't going to succumb to my pushy demands
I made one of my coworkers cheers to me not being pregnant. I've never talked to him before tonight. Keeping it classy.
Shut the fuck up. It's not the end of the world. Now come get your asshole bleached with me or we're not roommates anymore.
Walked into the bathroom and saw a Minion eating out Harley Quinn so this Halloween will be hard to top.
I don't even know if he's actually hot or just hot because he plays hockey..
You did not just say that.
Randomize
