you proceeded to suck on ur pinkie saying it reminded you of chris and you wanted him badly
my way of studying for our final tomorrow: registering online to retake the class in the fall
So I told her I dislocated my shoulder and she said "well okay. I can either be on top or blow you."
Decisions, decisions.
You mean 'full wolf form' wasn't a drunk text?
he was definitely TRYING to give me herpes.
Dont tell her I prefer to have an aura of mystique surronding me and my penis.
I love you. Happy valentines. Satin Patricks dayyyyyyyyyy. Alreadythrew up. Geeeeerait.
it's my favorite when the couple downstairs are having sex so loud that i feel like I'm part of a threesome
second-hand sex is fun, isn't it?
We can't BOTH have terrible sex lives. Get fucked or throw him out.
Just copped mushrooms from a dude in a business suit. U comin or what?
I feel like everyone in class can tell we had a threesome last weekend.
Wait, tell the rest at happy hour. I wanna be able to interrupt you with my loud cackles and stupid questions.
My gynaecologist hit my g-spot today by accident and for some reason I went "at least someone found it" VERY AWKWARD
I woke up to a quacking alarm clock and a rando in my bed. I told him I liked his cargo shorts. Fireball is not my soulmate anymore.
I have meat and whiskey. will you bring condoms?
Randomize