Note left in log book: "4:30am a guy was caught masturbating in the bathroom and passed out in his own juices and we had to take the door off the hinges."
You guys are open that late?
Just found out I slapped a vegan in the face with meat last night.
From what I remember, he had one ball. But it was cute
Take this only to mean that we love you, but we're having a serious, half-hour, hypothetical discussion about how far we think we could throw you.
In all seriousness, if tomorrow night becomes a heated game of Which Ex Gets To Take The Plastered Birthday Girl Home, I'm going to bow out with my integrity intact.
I just keep sniffing it hoping for an explanation.
And the best part is I don't remember putting the condom in my pocket! Angels officially exist
Well my sources tell me she just happens to appear in an episode girls gone wild.
I know someone that will spend hours looking for her. He also has many of said movies. And I will do it for free!
Why am I feeling up grandma?!
I'm really glad a picture of you as an infant followed this text.
There were grown college boys running around north campus in capes with nerf guns. If security were to be called I think they would just give them more beer.
I'm wearing spiderman underwear, the question is what am I NOT capable of
So basically he is jobless, a potential serial killer, and has poor taste in music? We simply don't have time for that.
She started calling me daddy on the second date and I don't know how to react to that
It's a lot harder to work after sex than it is to work drunk... just saying.
We banged in his car behind the burrito place. Google Maps keeps asking me to rate my visit. 5/5, would cum again.
Randomize
