Dude, she had a vegina. I felt like Indiana Jones cutting a path through the jungle.
So as she is about to take the walk of shame she flips out. Apparently someone left a brown present in her shoes.
i dont care about people's attitudes as long as they give me head
Almost accidentally stole a baby... explain later
he said he wanted to butter my pancake. i thought it was sexual, but he went downstairs and made pancakes. i need to stop dating fat guys.
Drunk
Deyhxbr
Fucaerrrrr
I dont even care how hung over I am, and how shitty this bus ride will be. That was the best sex of my life and it's a beautiful morning.
Front seat of an Escalade in a limo-service parking lot. That is all.
BRING ME THE PLAN B. ILL GIVE YOU A FREE WATER BOTTLE AND A BUMPER STICKER AND SOME BACON BITS
One small step for man, one big gay fierce leap for gays!
I saw a shooting star while he was eating me out at 3am by my neighbors pool. Doesn't get more magical than that
I woke up naked with a $20 bill taped to my titty, so I must of had fun.
I want to be "performing a disservice to society by actually wearing clothes in public" hot.
I'm by myself. some Midwest chick is hitting on me because I gave her a deviled egg. I need the distraction.
the guy had "bad bitches only" tattooed above his penis...
Randomize
