We were so bored at work tonight that we were in dry storage taking turns pouring the boxed wine we use for cooking into each others' mouths. I think I'm starting to understand the "problem" aspect of "drinking problem."
I almost took home a boy from the bar last night, till i realized he was not speaking drunk, he was from another country and didnt know english. that could have been an awkward morning.
dollar beers will do that to you.
i just burped and it tasted like condom. please tell me i wasn't lame and made that guy wear one for a bj last night.
Apparently, there is a horrible ghonorrea out break at our school. Woo! What a way for Loyola to welcome us back.
The lid of our salsa is promoting a contest that ended in July '09
That's okay, during storytime I would have to sit on my hands so I wouldn't touch everyone. Explains a lot...
Apparently I walked up to him, mumbled something incoherently, then started to make out with him. Why does this always happen.
I want to get so drunk, you will need subtitles to understand me. Rough week.
my life is about to be the like the hunger games except with penises. and im going to win.
I bet George Washington got SERIOUS head back in his hay day.
Went to the doctor's today. The lady took one look at my throat and said "oh god"
Too much penis in there.
Kristy just reminded me that I have a bottle of champagne to lick off your ass hole...... This is by way of saying that we have plans on Friday.
I wouldn't marry anyone who wouldn't symbolically fuck a doughnut with a sausage though.
I don't have any soul left to be crushed.
He doesn't have an existential crisis after we have really violent sex now which is nice
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