Today I ate a sandwich and half my molar fell off, feels like a semi sprayed into my jaw.
I wish i was spraying into your jaw.
so he must've not known that your lastname is Came because everytime someone would say your name he would scream "NO SHE DIDNT" to the whole party. He must've not been too good then either.
ever had your bank call you to verify the 4 seperate bar transactions from the night before? I have
He introduced himself to me as "the gayest gay who ever gayed." I like him already.
Well I squeegeed the puke off your arm at the gas station
Still had my bottle opener ring on. Started to give him a hand job. LOL
She looked at my cock with a kind of resigned disappointment.
We had to take the hinges off the bathroom door. Needless to say, you are no longer welcome at that bar
after you left he started opening his bottles by smashing the neck against the edge of the fireplace and pouring beer into his mouth. it was about the manliest thing ive ever seen. its probably how lumberjacks open their beers... if they didnt have their axes handy.
woke up in your bed at 6 AM. on my way home I passed Nathan, bloody, barefoot, and still in a toga. He told me he woke up in a ditch then kept repeating "I'm totally bringing this up at meeting tomorrow". I'm proud of your frat today
I almost took a picture but it looked like he might have a shank and I'm just not at a place in my life where I could handle having tetanus
I could not handle jail. And my very angry parents.
The fact that I am laying in bed on my stomach with an ice pack on my rump is a clear indication that I am no longer in my carefree 20s
Just slather his penis with BBQ sauce
Juice tastes so weird without alcohol
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