were with a gay guy with a minnesota accent. think about how funny that sounds.
I just had the ultimate walk of shame. I'm barefoot, in his gym short with vomit in my hair and I walked half a mile through campus. At noon. Thanks for picking up ur phone
oh fat girl friday strikes again...
You kept yelling that her vagina looked like a hatchet wound.
I just puked in my fish tank. Helloooooo summer.
Her parties are sponsored by Valtrex. This might not be your best idea.
and she is using the paper towels as a pillow... but you know what? i've done that too.. so u can really tell we are sisters.
I love you. Thanks for all the blowjobs.
She fuckin peed on me
Stay golden ponyboy
I take back all the times I've said life was unfair. I'm about to have two trained bartenders for a girlfriend and roommate
I think its awesome that i just got you to cheer for sex
Well sex is awesome. Sex deserves cheers.
You give an incredible blow job. I wanted to make sure you know it was appreciated
Whoever jacked off in MY pong room on the bean bag with your fucking googles pick up your fucking cum towel you gross disgusting fucks. I said NO MORE jacking off in that room. I swear I will empty it out if this is going to continue.
My fire has petered out without you
My Peter has fired out without you
That might be the most romantic thing you’ve said to me, unfortunately.
There's a point in life when you've got to take dick like a big girl.
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