Does leaving at 3 give Sara enough time to take the bus or are you picking her up?
I cant tell if your joking or not, but I'm picking her up
Do you need some kind of permission slip from her parents or can anyone just go and grab a high schooler these days?
Fun Fact: The stage were about to graduate on is where we once drove a van and kidnapped someone.
Fun Fact 2: My parents are sitting by the bushes I peed in this weekend.
I've slowly been stuffing french fries down his pants. I'm at 31 and he hasn't even noticed.
There's a wake for a coworker on 420 during te time of 420... Hoping everyone will be too sad to notice how high I am.
What's the appropriate way to phrase "If you ever leave your wife give me a call. But we can still have sex periodically until then."??
doing a walk of shame covered in blue food coloring is only embarrassing if you make it embarrassing...actually no its embarrassing on all accounts
Is it possible to dent your eyeball? And how do you "accidentally" go cosmic bowling?
Plan B, arranged marriage to a rich Indian, is rapidly becoming Plan A. Fuck Finals.
as i sobered up i realized that her cute accent was actually a speech impediment
Honestly I'm not even that excited to see my boyfriend. I'm more excited to see his penis. His penis inside of me.
it's always good to have a friend that's a hairdresser, a massage therapist, maybe throw in a lawyer just in case, and always have a friend on food stamps
I'm constantly crying, and now I start crying every time I masturbate which is a fun development.
His balls will have been in my mouth at least once by this time tomorrow.
Why do my weekends always degenerate into using my little brothers childrens board games for drinking games?
I just caught my bangs on fire trying to lite a bowl while driving. Thank god it wasn't my eyebrows like last time.
Randomize
