3 deer just ran past us on the street. At least I get to see some tail tonight
About tomorrow. if it dosent fit dont force it. Just pushit as far as you can and i'll wiggle the rest of the way
one day I'm really going to regret not using the boners I got in planes and cars
he took off my shirt and said 'oh my god the legends are true'
Numbies before the dentist, such a good idea.
Apparently Bin Ladens last act of terrorism is cock blocking me....
Every shot buddy I have I end up blowing. I don't know whether this pattern is good or bad.
But apparently I got kicked in the head by a stripper at some point
It makes me really sad that some people start their saturdays running or biking instead of with 3 shots of tequila, a sausage biscuit, freaks & geeks and 2 orgasms.
My genitals don't want beer. They want to not feel like they wandered into a hornet's nest.
Not much, just taking another sorting hat quiz while waiting for this porno to finish buffering
i turned around and there he was, right in my face. i was mid deep throat of a hot dog that i was eating with my hands and no bun. you win FSU, you win.
Visibly drunk girl eating alone at a souplantation just spilled salad all over her body. It was me
I think I found my saving grace in the form of a beard at the bar.
I will find, mount, and marry that person.
Randomize
