i think i've said "don't judge me" 10+ times tonight... is that a bad thing?
yes
... don't judge me
you opened the fridge, pissed on the food, fell over, then threw up on yourself. thats whats all over the kitchen.
I'm home with mono, wearing knee high socks, shorts, a stained old shirt, and a surgical mask. He comes over ANYWAY with soup, a gas mask, billions of DVDs, and eats me out. He's either stupid, whipped, or i'm just THAT good.
Just got Netflix. Dexter Marathon. Still in my PJ's. Only eaten cookie dough and drinking a 40. I have never reeked so strongly of lonely .
It was tug of war between me and the cop. He wanted the beer, I wanted the coozie.
Picture this: me driving down 183 throwing up into a towel. I just hit rock bottom.
you don't know true fear until you are a convinced that velociraptors are trying to kill you through your roof.
You're just horny.
Yea, and? I appreciate you as a person too if that helps.
you taught an eight year old how to shotgun a half pint of chocolate milk, that's all i'm saying
our relationship was basically a one night stand, with a three week long, morning after
fuck you I'm eating salad I can't be drunk.
Just did body shot off a midget. Pretty good start.
I'm tired, but I'm gonna go with "I watched the debate last night and part of my soul died"
Step 1: Buy a house Step 2: Turn bedroom into sex dungeon
My books smell like weed. What does that tell you about my college experience?
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