My life is like a Sweet Valley High book but with lots of alcohol.
His appology was" look at it this way, at least you'll give better head without those teeth.'
It would be been irresponsible not to make cleaning the apartment into a drinking game
I ended up with a gash in my head from drunken dancing last night. I love life.
We're trying to see who can drink the most and still be eligible to donate blood tomorrow.
Just so you know swallowing does not help chest colds. Your Phd can suck my dick
I think my goal for this black wed is to not scream at an off duty state cop in a bar after trying to flirt with him. No need to make that an annual tradition
all I know is this drummer better stop eye fucking me while he plays cowbell. it is way too early for that.
I need to just embrace dildos and cats and call it a life.
My mom added me on Snapchat which means I am officially done with Snapchat.
The date did not go well. Turns out I once set her brother on fire.
This night could easily degenerate into a drunken haze of strippers and gambling, but I need a support network.
My dad is sitting where you rode me
There are leaves in my underwear?
Are we allowed to ho on the roof?
Randomize
