Yeah we had sex for the first time last night and all the text he sent me afterwards said was “heh”
Last night i stole a disco ball from a frat house by pretending i was pregnant.
You smell like a Billy Joel song
he took off my shirt and said 'oh my god the legends are true'
he had a TATTOO on his FACE. a tattoo on your face basically says "i've gone as far in society as i'd like to."
If I die tonight. Just know that chicken I made fuckin ruled. Recipe: Chicken with a shitload oF spice
2nd semester senior, always drunk. at this point if i don't get a good parking spot, i turn around and drive home
STOP CALLING ME LADY CHLAMYDIA
Someone just proposed in Subway. Trying not to laugh.
i'm drinking margaritas from a pouch...really dont think i'm in the position to judge anyone...
I was grinding on people that were grinding. Nonconsensual.
I kinda wanna Instagram the giant vag stain on my sheets. That is something to be proud of. It's a Christmas miracle.
Can we just focus for a minute on the fact that I HAD MY FIRST LESBIAN ENCOUNTER.
Right. How rude of me to inform you that you're going to be an aunt.
So what's going on?
We hit boys town to get stupid. I mean invading Iraq stupid.
We just finished having sex and as soon as we get out of bed he yells "trust fall" and runs me over
Randomize
