She made fun of how I walked so I announced to her boyfriend that I have cum on her face before.
we were pretty classy up until the second keg
Smoking bowl and applying to community college. I now know how I got here.
I cant even remember his name or what he looked like. all I remember is what the tattoo on his forearm looked like.
well, he kindof looked like a walmart greeter. I tried to stop you
my fraternity brothers just had an intervention for me. i either have a problem or am just on some next-level shit, im gonna go with door number 2
im proctoring the SATs right now and im still drunk from last night. i really wanna tell these kids that this fucking test doest mean shit and they will just be constantly drunk once in college.
Please find an outlet that isn't stripping or getting drunk and arrested
When his Irish accent comes out my uterus hums. Or some productive organ down there, I'm not sure of the logistics
I can dream in two languages, but it's still about ripping a bong.
I spent ten minutes questioning her on what kind of cup she wanted... Then I asked what kind of water she wanted..
WOAH TOO HIGH
You called my nipples compassionate. What does that even mean?
I completely forgot about the posting of partying pics shortly after adding my gma my dad was like grandma says your all over fb but she doesn't know how to use it. Of course I'm all over her fb. She's got 6 friends I am her newsfeed
The two of us went back to your place, had sex, peed in cups, then i went home. Literally all i know
I think we might need a safe word for this...
I’m going to bedazzle that dick
What does that even mean
No idea, but I guarantee he’ll get hard every time he remembers it
Randomize
